Scars

2 Corinthians 5:17—Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

I guess it’s no surprise I’m a bit of a perfectionist sometimes. God lovingly and frequently works on this trait quite a lot. I know it’s ridiculous because there are so many ways I am not perfect, but I live my life striving for excellence. It’s just who I am. And in this quirky world of mine where I want everything to be photographic, I find myself wishing life had a delete button like a camera. All you would simply have to do is review and delete—a magic eraser. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way and maybe just maybe that’s a good thing.

This past week taught me a lot about life and a lot about myself. I have a scar under my right eye now. It stretches a couple of inches, has some stitches and leads to some bruising on the other side. It’s not that noticeable, especially under make-up but I know it’s there. The doctor said it will fade in time but for the moment it serves as a reminder of all I’ve gone through on this surgery journey.

Everybody tells me it’s not that bad and I think they must be right, but I have responded in an interesting manner. I tossed out lines like, “You should see the other guy.” I was quick to explain that I had just had surgery even when no one asked. I find myself glancing in the rearview mirror more than once on the car ride into work. It’s crazy. After all I’m the girl who wore a t-shirt and jeans every day to high school. Yet here in this season of my life when I don’t have it all together, but feel like I must be on the verge of getting there, I let something like a scar define my behavior. Some days I still feel like I have to be perfect even when life has taught me otherwise.

But my thinking is changing. I am going through a study called LIFE at my church and it is showing me how to find freedom in the love and grace and ACCEPTANCE of Jesus and not in being flawless. It takes that responsibility off of me and lays it at the cross. It allows me, gasp, to be imperfect.

I think humans are funny to watch. Some of my most profound thoughts come from observing others. It doesn’t take long to know that we are flawed. We make mistakes. We get scars and wounds and heartaches. We fall down. We aren’t perfect. But it is out of that imperfection and those mistakes that beauty can rise. It teaches us. It makes us stronger. It’s about healing and growth and freedom. It reminds us where we have been and gives us hope that tomorrow will be different. Yes we might be flawed, but we are beautifully flawed.

I think about scars—not the ones you can see like mine, but the one’s we carry around with us that no one sees but God. We are so careful to cover up and hide and push down but maybe we should be celebrating them. Maybe we should see them as a reminder of all God has carried us through. We should take them as a sign of His forever faithfulness.

I am growing kind of fond of my battle scar. I’ll be glad when it goes but for now I can see it and be reminded of God’s greatness. My scar reminds me that I am broken and that I am not whole on my own. It reminds me that I have a Savior who makes all things new. It reminds me that I am His.

-Only Hope