Even...

 

As the melody of a song drifted through my headphones the other day, these lyrics washed over me and EVERYTHING around me stilled. Lauren Daigle’s recognizable voice soothed places in my heart that I didn’t know were ruffled until that moment with these words: 

Even the sparrow has a place to lay its head

So why would I let worries steal my breath?

 Even the roses, You have glowed them brilliant red

Still I'm the one You love more than this

You tell the seasons when it's time for them to turn

So, I will trust You even when it hurts

You give me everything

You give me everything

You give me everything I need

 The song is called Everything, but there was another word that was repeated in the song, that I thought was interesting. And that was the word Even.

I wondered why that little word would stick out to me so much and then I realized it had been a reoccurring theme between me and God for quite a long time. Sometimes it was a comparison. Lord, even they have x, y, or z. Sometimes it was a question of heading in the right direction. Jesus, even as I take this step, I am not quite sure. Sometimes it has been laced in wondering. God, I am even more confused. And sometimes it’s been a mustard seed. Even so, I am going to trust You, Lord. Even if it does not make sense in this moment or this season.

Time and time again, I have offered that phrase up to the Lord hoping He would turn it into something else; hoping things would look different. What I never considered was that every time I released an even to the Father, He offered it back to me. God took my even’s, my declarations of not understanding, and my wanting things to be measured in a certain way and exchanged them for His own. Scripture tells us:

Even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. -Matthew 10:29-31 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, who will sustain you. -Isaiah 46:4 

Even though you walk through the darkest valley, you can fear no evil. -Psalm 23:4 

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly [AKA EVEN MORE] beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. -Ephesians 3:20

The Bible is filled with promises that tell us we have Someone that cares about our worries, anxieties, and questions. Maybe you just simply need that reminder today—that Jesus is in your midst. He is caring for you at this very moment. He is working behind the scenes, and He sees you.

Even when you feel less than.

Even as you are walking through something.

Even though it doesn’t look the way you thought.

Even if you never understand this side of Heaven.

That might not necessarily make it easier, but hopefully, it helps make it doable. When you remember that God is everything you need, you can let go of the things you don’t need. When you remember that He is holding the whole world in His hands, you can open yours in surrender. And in that sweet surrender, you can lay down your “evens” at His feet and watch Him do things only He can do. Letting go is scary. Walking down a road full of unseen twists and turns can be hard. I am not saying it isn’t. But I am saying that we can trust Him even if, even though, even when, and even as life happens all around us.

There is a quote from the book, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe that has meant a lot to me lately. It comes from a conversation Susan and Lucy are having with the beavers and it goes like this:

  "Is he—quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

 "That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver; "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

 "Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." (C.S. Lewis)

 Every time my heart reads those lines it is stirred, and I believe the reason is because I recognize those feelings and thoughts in my own self. I think we ask the same thing of God sometimes. Are you safe? Can I trust You? Can I be sure that this thing You are calling me to is going to work out in a good way? 

I’ve asked those questions—more than I’d like to admit, but you know what I’ve been re-learning lately? Sometimes all we can do is choose faith, even when we are yearning for answers. Sometimes when it feels scary, we must trust that it is still good. And sometimes we have to remember that God gives us everything we need, not everything we want. Let’s lay down our evens. Let’s exchange them for something greater than what we see. And let’s believe as Mr. Beaver said, “God is good.” 

After all, He’s the King. And He is beyond worthy to wear His crown. 😉

-Only Hope